Hello All.

Lizzy and I both hit critical mass today. I was feeling down and just irritable this morning. Lizzy started the day by being impatient, screaming, kicking the walls and just plain angry. So it was Carcinocin 30C for her and Carcinocin 200C for me. Within an hour, peace and tranquility reigned once more.

Am not too surprised. Lizzy and I got about two weeks out of the last dose and that is not too bad. Honestly, when Lizzy acts like this it wears on the entire household. Her impatience and fussiness is not fun at all. Plus my mood wasn’t helping either. The difficult part is learning to read whether she is behaving like a little girl who is trying to get her way or is she in need of her remedy. The deciding factor came when she started to drool while she was crying. Drooling is an old symptom that surfaces from time to time. Plus she was letting her nose run while she was throwing a fit. Normally she does not drool and she can wipe her nose on her own when necessary. So, there it is.

I am glad that she was dosed again. This will allow her time to level off by the time I talk to her ND on the 5th. We will have more info. to share and get a clear idea of when to start the next MMR clearing.

It has been raining here and the constant moisture is not something she does well with. This means more time indoors and less chance to really run, climb and play hard. One day is okay but more than that she gets hyper and fussy. Right now she feels warm to the touch and that is s.o.p. (standard operating procedure) for her after having her remedy. It is an amazing process. Her body is working on healing itself and that is what we want to see. I can’t ask for much more at this point. It just takes time. Our goal has not changed from the first day we started homeopathy 3 years ago, we must stay the course.

Lizzy is no longer having the cell salt Kali Phos 6X everyday. We have switched over to Mag Phos 6X because her muscles are very tight again. Another old symptom coming to the surface with less severity. She has been pressing on her lower abdomen again today and the Mag Phos is great for any kind of pain or cramping. I love these cell salts, just can’t say it enough. Within 15 minutes of having the Mag Phos the pressing on her abdomen stopped.

Her appetite is fair, but she is leaning towards sweets at this point and that too is s.o.p. Another old behavior is her requesting to watch more tv. Her favorites during a time like this are shows that are very brightly colored. Simpsons, Clifford, Signing Times all of these selections are very saturated with color. She needs stimuli. Am not exactly sure what need she is trying to fill. Wish I knew. Just need to follow her lead and make the best of every bit of information she can provide.

By the time I was preparing dinner I cut off all tv and computers for the day. Enough is enough. Lizzy accepted it and did not question my decision at all. The Carcinocin was already doing its thing. YES!

We are making London Broil for dinner and I am hoping our menu choice for tonight will help also. Lizzy does better with protein, especially beef. Lizzy is blood type O and type O’s need protein or they get grumpy. I am exactly the same way.

After calming the masses…

I finished preparing dinner. Willy and I made more lemonade and we all sat down to eat. Lizzy saw what was being served and eagerly scanned the entrée. I served her and she relished every morsel. “May I have more beef please?” Two more servings later she was holding my hand and blowing me kisses. Success!! She used her fork correctly and remembered to use her manners too. Thank you God!

With a full tummy, she pushed her chair away from the table and walked over to me. Lizzy had her lips puckered, sat on my lap and gave me a kiss. She caressed my face and had “Ahhhhh”. Boy did I need that! This little girl always knows what I need. This whole week has had some very funky moments. With me needing my remedy, Lizzy’s behavior today, and her adorable siblings Katie (age 2) and Matthew (age 3) being toddlers this week has been fragrant to say the least. Any parent knows, toddlers can beat one down to their socks!

After dinner and clean up it is off to bed for all of the “Littles” and “Middles”.  Daddy is working late tonight so I have a date with a book that I recently acquired. With my feet up and a glass of water nearby I wish everyone out there, a wonderful night. Through the grace of God we will have more growing and healing tomorrow.

Sweet dreams til next time.

Hello All!

Lizzy has been doing well and sleep is still uninterrupted. Her speech has been getting clearer and so has her willingness to engage in conversations. Her body language and visual exchanges are getting closer to a little girl her age. This is very encouraging. She is very happy. Noise sensitivity is an issue from time to time but nothing like before. Old symptoms less severity.

It has been 20 days since the last MMR 10M dose. Plus it has been 18 days since she received her Carcinocin 30C. It sounds like a long time but we do not want to interrupt the trajectory she is on at this point. Less is better when using homeopathy.

Have a phone appointment with our ND on July 5th so we will see what’s next.  Most likely we will do the MMR clearing again and stay on the Carcinocin 30C also. That was always in the back of my mind. She had the shot twice so it makes sense that we do the clearing twice.

A recent cute moment has been Lizzy combing her hair. She has attempted the last 2 years but now she is looking in the mirror and deliberately placing the brush and creating a look just for her. It is cute to see. Her intense concentration is evident and the fondness of her own image is a constant. She loves mirrors or anything shiny that shows her reflection.  Don’t most little kids love looking at themselves? I Love when she does this stuff, it makes my heart smile!

Other good news is that baby Howard has been sleeping 12 hours a night. YEAH!!! We thought we would never get here. With Lizzy’s noise sensitivity we did not let Howard get himself to sleep. His crying would be the reason for her to kick the wall, bang her head or scream bloody murder. All parents hate this process of allowing their baby to cry themselves to sleep. Thank God it only takes him about 10 minutes to fuss and fall to sleep. Thank God because my heart tears when they cry like this.

Over the past three years sleep has been a luxury and not something we could get plenty of. The last week has been wonderful. What’s curious is now I feel more tired than before. Need time to change gears I guess. Can’t undo all of it in a week, but I am sure glad it is happening. No little person or animal is waking up until 6am. YEAH! Thank you God!!

Gabriel and I recently started to make old-fashioned lemonade. (If you don’t remember, he is a great organic flour tortilla maker also.) We use an antique glass reamer and mix all of the wonderful juice with organic sugar, filtered water and lots of ice. It was very good.

When Gabriel and I started the project I was feeling really down. (Life and stuff) As we sliced the lemons and begin to juice them I felt wonderful again. Lemon scent is very cheering and so is the color yellow. Free aromatherapy and color therapy plus wonderful lemonade to drink. Win, win, win.

After using the glass reamer for about 20 lemons my hand got sore. And I had to make sure no seeds slipped by us and into the finished product. I thought of the well-known expression, “When life gives you lemons make lemonade.” After going through all of this work I had a new appreciation for this phrase. How can I truly understand the depth of the lesson without experiencing the actual process? “Making lemonade” does not mean that it is easy, or without pain. It means you have to work hard for the end result. Which includes using the proper amount of ingredients to make a sweet payoff for all that indulge in this wonderful treat. Yahtzee!

Buying lemonade in a carton, can, bottle or whatever does not send this valuable lesson home. Two months ago I shared with our pastor that I missed the sweetness of life using the “Making lemonade” lesson. I now realize that the sweetness comes from the satisfaction of the process and the end result. I have been missing the mark this whole time. It is the process plus and the end result that makes it the most rewarding. This is what makes life so wonderful and sweet. If you skip over any of the steps you will most likely miss the pleasure of the entire process.

Making lemonade is just the beginning. Around here we use the lemon skins to clean pots, make cleaners and freshen the house. The payoff goes on and on. Like everything we undertake, we must enjoy the process. Otherwise, we are depriving ourselves of all the pleasures that are possible and the ability to bring joy to those we love. Autism recovery and lemonade, that’s a new mix.

Until next time…

Hello All!

Lizzy had her appointment with her osteopath on Thursday 06 09 2011. She was not very open to it this time. I was not too surprised since the carcinocin really knocks one into another place. This remedy hits hard and when it does, one is transcended back to places you thought you would never visit again.

We entered our D.O.’s  office and he asked Lizzy to get up on the table. She just stood there holding her fingers. I repeated his request and still she stood motionless. I gently placed her on the table. She became very rigid and I could tell this was not going to be a fun visit. Well, it was 30 minutes of kicking, biting, hitting and occasional screaming, “No doctor, no.”

At the end of the session, I led Lizzy to the waiting room to sit with her sister Amelia while I talked to the doctor. We talked briefly about how her heart and mind need to have a conversation. I asked again if he thought it was fear of letting go that keeps her from going forward completely. He concurred, and stated as she screamed and tensed up during the session he was getting some things to happen inside of her. As I sat there listening to this wonderful physician, my eyes welled up with tears. I shared the notion of how I think Lizzy was fearful from the beginning. Fear is a big part of who she is and who we all are. I shared how I prayed that God would put all of her suffering on to me. This true healer gently shook his head no and said that my thoughts were impossible. It was meant to be. I agreed and tearfully replied how I have embraced this journey and sometimes it is just hard. Especially now that she is hitting, biting and screaming again. (old symptoms less severity)

I opened the office door to leave and he said “Wait, you can’t leave like that, give me a hug.” I was overcome with tears. As he hugged me and told me to let it out and breathe I was overcome with admiration for this man and the work that he does. THIS IS A TRUE PHYSICIAN AND HEALER. If more physicians were like him,  people could be healed on a very deep profound level.

How many doctors have we been to over the years with Lizzy that were detached and disinterested in the plights of their patients and family members? Too many. Maybe they became desensitized over time. Maybe they have their own stuff in life. Maybe they are not taught how to be sensitive to their patients complete needs. Whatever the reasons, I am very choosy about the physicians that treat our family.

In the past, I took for granted that all doctors know more than I about my kids and myself. Wrong! They are more learned about diseases, anatomy, etc. That knowledge is necessary, but it must be coupled with understanding. They need to try to understand every aspect of their patients lives. This approach takes time. Most physicians do not have or make time to fill this need. If they do not take the time to get to know their patients how can they make any kind of complete diagnosis? My experience says, it is impossible.

I feel that studying Hippocrates approach of treating the whole person is something that most physicians need to familiarize themselves with on a regular basis. Plus, Hippocrates viewed healing as an art form. This art does not translate into handing out prescriptions or showing off one’s knowledge of clinical facts. There is nothing wrong with a refresher course. Every professional benefits from learning more about their craft.  Again, medicine and healing is an art, and those who are wise enough to know this are the most successful. Those who understand this and treat their patients with respect are worth their weight in gold. We need more doctors like this today. I know this approach is possible. We use four true physicians to treat our family. We are very grateful to God for leading us to them. These indiviguals are well-educated, compassionate and caring people. They are a true gift to mankind and a credit to the art form.

Lizzy has been doing better since Thursday. She is quite fond of being alone at this point. She is going into other rooms by herself to play and coming out periodically to reconnect with us. Three years ago this was not the case. Lizzy would isolate herself constantly. We would have to go to her and make sure she was okay. Make sure that she ate, drank, everything.  Happily, I say again, old symptoms less severity.

Could it be that she just wants to be alone? I say yes. When I am working something out emotionally I need to go into my emotional cave and stay there alone with my thoughts. This opportunity facilitates thinking and feeling without someone else making any demands or requests. I enjoy being alone from time to time. It is essential. Don’t we all benefit from it?

This week I dreamt of Lizzy talking to me in great depth. In my dream she was  questioning me about all sorts of things. In my dream I was shocked and amazed. I did not think it was her speaking. These types of dreams used to really bum me out. Recently, I am at peace and not afraid. I am no longer fearful that she will slip away again, and never return to where she is now. God has given me the strength to look at these moments and embrace them. Through this trial I am allowed to see His miracles and wonders. I am truly grateful.

Fear is very powerful and it has been used to manipulate situations and people since day one. After researching and examining my own fears I have changed the word fear into an acronym. The acronym is this: Faithfully Embracing All Repurcussions. Embracing one’s fears has helped me tremendously. Talking to others about one’s fears is also essential. One has to do this. I can not get Lizzy to talk about it yet, so what can I do for her now? I believe the opportunity will be revealed to us at the right time. Until then, we shall keep our hearts, eyes and ears open to what we can do to help our precious Lizzy girl. Lizzy’s grandma is planning to come and visit this summer. Maybe one who is not in her midst everyday can bring her out more. We’ll see. Love is a very powerful healer, and I know that my mom (and others) love Lizzy very much.

We hope that we will see more changes this week. And if not, we must continue on the same path and allow more time to pass.

Queen Anne’s Lace is in bloom again. As I drive around and see these beautiful flowers emerge I think of our baby girl. Our journey with her is just like this intricate flower. The red dot in the middle reminds me of the painful parts of our journey with Lizzy. The numerous little flowers that are joined together to make each beautiful bloom is just like our Lizzy girl. Slowly every little aspect of her is coming together to make one beautiful flower. I hope and pray that she continues to blossom and show us all of the splendors that make up this special little girl. Our intricate, beautiful little girl is slowly emerging and blossoming. We just have to wait for the right time and season.

May each new day allow all of us to blossom and grow. Blessings to all.

A man does not learn to understand anything unless he loves it.   -Goethe

Hello All!

Lizzy exteriorization 06 01 2011 MMR 10M 24 hours later

Lizzy is finished with the scratching and the welts she received from her first MMR clearing. The welts shrunk within 24 hours and she is feeling better.

Lizzy will not receive any more of the MMR remedy for the next two weeks. On June 20th we will begin the second MMR clearing. It will take four weeks like the last one and hopefully we will see some more movement.

Her speech has lessened some, but her way of communicating has changed. The other night she pointed at me and said “You’re Mommy.” She looked at me with this little smirk on her face as if she was realizing it in a whole new way for the first time. Also, when she does speak she will say 3 or 4 complete sentences as opposed to one. Very cool indeed!

Lizzy with her laptop 06 06 2011

As of today (06 06 2011) Lizzy is doing well and her speech is still low. Yesterday we went to our church’s annual picnic. Lizzy played on the swings and play set the entire time. On a good note she smiled at the other kids and was interested in what they were doing. 3 years ago, she could care less.

This was also the first time in 3 years we all went out together as a family. In the past, we would do things in smaller groups. This would eliminate Lizzy from having a meltdown because one of the other little ones were crying or protesting. There is nothing worse than Lizzy screaming at full volume inside the car, as the other little ones start crying. YIKES!!! Those were some hairy times.

The other kids had a great time playing games and little Howard was enjoying all that he could being only 9 months old. With all of the rush to get out the door we all neglected to bring our iphones. So no pics from the picnic. I hate when I do that!

We are very eager to see what takes place over the next two weeks. We are hoping and praying that she will feel more secure and be willing to join us on a deeper level. With each clearing she is gaining more confidence with her environment and those that love her so. Lizzy is still screaming from time to time but they are short bursts and not as intense. Again, same symptoms less severity. This is exactly what we want to see. So I hope to scratch this clearing off the list and move on to the next one.

Lizzy is still receiving the Kali Phos cell salt and it helps very much. I love these things! They have helped me tremendously also. When an old emotion kicks in I can bet that within 24 hours I will have some physical response. I use the cell salt needed for the symptom and within minutes to hours it is gone. Very cool stuff. These cell salts do not interfere with my current remedy so all is good. It is amazing how many things we carry from our past experiences.  I am determined to heal all of these problems and become a master of my fears and past. There is no other way to do it. Fear and trauma are a huge part of our everyday lives. Personal experiences, natural disasters, terrorism you name it. We all carry fear and anxiety with us until we address it and conquer it. So onward and upward. May God grant us the wisdom, courage and perseverance we need to accomplish this difficult task.

Just when I thought I was finished……

Lizzy is up late tonight and very uncomfortable. Screaming, pushing on her abdomen and then removing all of her clothes. Upon hearing her distress call Martin, Ian and I sprang into action. (These guys are so helpful and amazing. Thanks guys! xo)

We discovered that Lizzy is still itchy in spots. She was scratching her chest and her lower back. Plus she has developed a rash on her bottom again and some vaginal discharge. This also happened on the MMR 200C clearing two weeks ago.  We treated the rash topically, gave her some Nat Phos cell salt (6X) and let her body take care of the rest. After a bath, finger spelling, a cup of raw milk, cell salts and topical treatment she was back in bed and laughing. I hope and pray that she will be comfortable all night and get some rest. Like me, she is a bear when she can not rest well.

Have a phone appt. with her ND on Tuesday so all of these things will be addressed. I wonder if the discomfort is from the Carcinocin dosing she received on Saturday and not the final MMR 10M she received on Thursday? Time will tell. Right now at midnight she is still awake, talking and singing. I hope she will crash soon. I am tired. This stuff can easily wear one out. Honestly, it makes my heart tired more than my body. No one likes to see someone they love suffer.

Fortunately, God blesses us with a new day tomorrow and we very anxious to see what the day will bring. We hope it will contain more healing and growth for all of us. May God grant us the strength we need to heal and grow. For through Him all things are possible.

Sweet Dreams To Everyone, Good Night.